When you enter leadership or management roles, the work shifts—sometimes suddenly and obviously, and other times more subtly.
I noticed it in myself when somebody asked me, “What do you do for work?” I used to answer “I’m a psychologist”… but as I entered more administrative leadership roles, doing less and less clinical work, that answer started to feel disconnected from my day-to-day.
This happens to many of us. The engineer becomes the field supervisor, the teacher becomes the department chair, the pastor becomes the executive pastor, the nurse becomes the charge nurse. Typically, if you’re good at what you do and have decent people skills, it’s not long before you’re asked to supervise someone in that same job. You do less of your discipline and increasingly more supervising. That one person becomes two or three, and before you know it, you’re leading a team and rarely doing the actual role you were initially trained for.
With that, your vocational identity shifts. You move from doing the work to developing those who do the work. And to be effective in this role, your supervisees can’t simply show up to work, clock in, and clock out—they have to do their jobs well.
Herein lies one of the biggest challenges with the greatest reward.
This came together for me the other day when I was at a classic Midwestern indoor water park hotel. I’ve been a parent for seven years, which means this has become a frequent pastime for my family. In many ways, all water parks are the same. They’re overstimulating, we all worry about what’s on the floor as we walk around barefoot, and by the end, we’re exhausted—yet somehow glad we went.
Another thing these parks share is a high concern for safety as the backdrop to the experience. As a guest, we don’t really want to think too much about safety; we want to enjoy ourselves and have fun. But if something tragic happens to someone, that’s all we’ll think about. We’ll tell our friends about it, and our likelihood of returning to that water park drops fast.
Put plainly, an unsafe water park is bad for business.
But when I looked around at all of the lifeguards, it was hard not to notice how young so many of them were. I could quickly size up who would let my slightly-too-small kiddo on that thrill ride and who was going to blow his whistle, stop the ride, and measure my kid on the ruler only to have us walk several flights back downstairs.
While I was a bit bummed I wasn’t able to sneak through, I was impressed that the lifeguard noticed and stood his ground. As far as I could tell, his supervisor wasn’t watching. Who was he to stop this parent if I thought it was good enough for my child?
But somebody somewhere, probably sitting at a desk responding to emails, had set an expectation or standard and had trained to it—trying to define this fine line between fun and safety.
That experience reminded me that leadership with the biggest impact often shows up in the smallest moments. Here are five leadership takeaways from that day at the water park.
1. Set clear expectations
Being a good supervisor means establishing clear expectations for how others do their work. It’s not enough to stand by with a rescue tube overlooking a pool full of swimmers or to simply push the button to send people down the water slide. You need a systematic way of observing the water; otherwise, you’ll only focus on whatever grabs your attention in the moment. And sometimes, those expectations mean saying no—even if it risks upsetting a parent who’s convinced that their child should be allowed to ride.
2. “Inspect what you expect.”
I’m borrowing this phrase from a colleague, but I saw it play out several times at the park. It was subtle, and if you were busy playing in the water or chasing after your toddler, you might have missed the staff running impromptu safety drills to test whether the lifeguards were doing their jobs well.
Once, someone pretended to drown in a crowded pool, and I watched the lifeguard quickly notice and jump in to rescue them. On another occasion, a realistic-looking toddler doll was placed in the water, and within seconds, the lifeguard spotted it and responded. About twenty feet away, the manager—dressed like any other guest—clapped and cheered, “You noticed them so quickly. Great job!”
What stood out to me was that these lifeguards weren’t just given an important role, a lecture on safety lessons, and left on their own to determine whether they were executing it well. They were being assessed to ensure the training had sunk in and that safety remained a felt priority. Their supervisors weren’t hovering or micromanaging; they were holding people accountable while cheering them on. That combination of structure and support is the essence of inspecting what you expect.
3. Understand what motivates a person
Whenever my son Toby is old enough to get a job, the sooner his supervisor realizes he’s motivated by pure competition, the sooner he’ll meet and exceed expectations. This child turns everything into a game, often begging me to play ball. We don’t just play catch—if you catch the ball, you get a point; if you drop it, you lose a point. If he’s given a target, he’ll aim to hit it right in the middle.
But not everyone is like Toby. Some people are driven by recognition, problem-solving, saving toward a financial goal, or pressing into a calling that’s bigger than themselves. Knowing what motivates a person helps you lead them more effectively and enjoyably. When a supervisor gives feedback or offers a correction, if they can tap into that motivation, the person is far more likely to feel supported and successful—rather than frustrated or discouraged.
4. Be curious about barriers
If someone isn’t performing well, a good supervisor starts with curiosity. It’s easy to assume someone is struggling because they’re lazy or disinterested—or to label them based on their generation, saying things like, “That’s just so typical of Gen Z.” But curiosity helps uncover what’s really standing in the way.
At the water park, I noticed a few lifeguards who seemed only halfway engaged. They didn’t stop kids from going down slides backward when the sign clearly said feet first, and I knew I could probably sneak my slightly-too-small kiddo right past them. I wondered if, for some of them, it was about avoiding conflict. Saying, “You can’t do that,” or “You’re not tall enough to ride safely,” opens the door to confrontation—and few people welcome that. Some guests might back down when told no, but others might get defensive or combative. And depending on that lifeguard’s own story, such conflict could trigger feelings of helplessness or anger that could jeopardize their job.
So it’s easier to look away or disengage—especially when 99.9% of the time, nothing bad happens. But if you’re curious about what’s keeping someone from meeting expectations, the best first step is to uncover what they need rather than assuming they don’t care.
5. Care enough to say no
Lastly, we all know that sometimes people end up on the wrong path. It’s a supervisor’s job to notice this—and to care enough to address it. I often say, “No one else has the job of holding them to that standard. If you don’t do it, no one will.”
Although it’s hard, it can be deeply formative when someone calmly and honestly says, “This job doesn’t seem like the right fit for you.” It’s unpleasant to say and even harder to hear, but it can create a necessary wake-up call for someone who’s been disengaged—or help them reset and discover new vocational goals.
When people can’t pass qualifying exams or reach key milestones in graduate school, they often go on to thrive in another field, carrying their deep desire to help others with them. Sometimes the hardest “no” opens the door to a better “yes.”
Taken together, if you choose to step into leadership or management, embrace the learning curve. You may not have formal instruction like you once did in the classroom, but you are a student again—learning new skills, processes, and tools to help others do their best work.
